Rebecca Undem

View Original

Avoid "Falling Off The Wagon" With The Process to Making Change That Lasts—Step 1: Get Your Head Straight

t’s been said that change is hard.

And even if you really like change (raises hand) this tends to be true.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve experienced a time or two of trying to take something on and after a short burst of success—be it 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 months—you find yourself faltering, going off-track, and ending up back where you started.

Or worse yet, further back than where you started.

You feel silly, incapable, or unworthy because you weren’t able to see your big plan through.

This is why change is hard.

We expect a simple, linear process that if we just “stick to the plan” we’ll get the results we’re seeking.

And most changes are more like winding roads with twists, turns, and detours. You still get where you want to be, but the road to get there might not be a straight line.

You know what’s usually missing?

Grace.

We are so good at giving grace to everyone around us; we’re not usually so good at giving it to ourselves.

Every change we want to make happens in 4 stages and here’s the great news: once you know the stages, this process acts as a roadmap so when you falter, or “fall off the wagon” (which you will because you’re human) you’ll know what to do next,  eliminating the crappy feelings of unworthiness that may have accompanied your missteps in the past.

Over the next 4 blog posts, we’ll talk about each step of the process, the stumbling blocks you might experience at each stage and the big feelings you’ll have.

Stage #1: Get your head straight.

Before any big change can take place, our mindset needs to be in the right place. This is all about determining the true motivation for making the change in the first place. Shame is not a good motivator.

There are 3 main challenges we experience at this stage of the change process:

  • We underestimate the difficulty of changing.

You’d think we know by now, but unfortunately, we forget when we’re excited by some new plan, strategy, or idea. We can easily get lured by the success stories of other people who made it look easy and then we’re blindsided by how hard it actually is.

  • We aren’t ready to let go of what is.

This sounds counterintuitive because the fact that we want to change anything seems to imply we’re ready to let go of the current state. But there is usually some benefit to staying in the situation you’re in, and that’s what needs to be uncovered before real change can happen.

  • We decide to “try”.

We could call this “half-assing” it. Trying is not the same as committing.

We also experience 3 specific emotions in this stage of change:

  1. Loneliness

  2. External pressure

  3. Overwhelming doubt

To hear more about these emotions and how to move through them in this stage of the change process, you can watch the video below for more insight.

I’ll be sharing how this process unfolded for me in 2 situations: 1. When I lost weight and 2. When I became a keynote speaker.

Does this resonate with you? What change are you making right now? How can I support you? Drop me a comment or join The Groove Seekers Community to get the support and encouragement you need!