A personal memoir about identity, belonging, and finding your own way.
Remember you’re not the only one figuring it out.
With honest, relatable storytelling, Rebecca shares the questions and unexpected turns behind a life that looks different from the one she imagined.
Question the expectations you’ve inherited.
What happens when the advice you’ve followed no longer fits? Rebecca explores the courage it takes to listen to yourself and create your own definition of a meaningful life.
Find room for humor along the way.
With warmth and wit, Rebecca finds the funny in everyday experiences while making room for the complicated feelings that come with growth and change.
“I loved it!!! I cried ten minutes into the book and there were times I laughed aloud. My emotions were engaged from the beginning. I could hardly wait to get back to it each time I had to put it down. I may not be from a small country town but I was able to relate to the feelings, values, experiences, thought processes and decision making. Faith. Family. Friends. Creating our own definition of what works for ourselves and our family doesn’t always come quickly or easily. It can be a moving target too! Thank you for generously sharing your experiences, insight, compassion and humor.”
Get your copy of How Mommy Got Her Groove Back.
In the book, you will discover:
You’re Looking For Your Value in All the Wrong Places
Of course, you kick ass.
Day in and day out, you tirelessly—well, maybe you occasionally find yourself a wee bit tired—strive to ensure that everything is handled.
From work meetings to carpools, from school party planning committees to piano recitals and every random doctor’s appointment and approaching project deadline in between, you are the one handling it.
And because redundancy doesn’t hurt, let’s say it again: you kick ass at it. All of it.
But, when you lay in bed at night, you can’t help but question whether all the stuff you do is enough.
Whether you’re enough.
Because, if we’re honest, no matter how amazing we are—and really...we are amazing, aren’t we—we know there are times when we let people down.
And even though deep down, we know it’s impossible to please everyone all at the same time, we can’t squash those nagging feelings of guilt and self-doubt.
The world will try to convince you that your worth is somehow based not only on the number of balls you can keep in the air at once, but how well you balance them all, and because we must always “raise the bar”, you’re also judged by how perfectly manicured your nails and shaped your eyebrows are while you’re juggling.
It’s a losing proposition. For every single one of us.
But here’s what no one tells you.
Your value isn’t found in what you do.
You could let every single ball drop and you still aren’t any less valuable.
There Will Always Be People Who Simply Don’t “Get It”
All the people in your world have a definitive opinion of who you are. Along with those ideas come specific thoughts about how you are expected to behave.
When you fail to act in alignment, those same people—sometimes, even the ones who really love you—may become confused or uncomfortable and may judge you for it.
And that’s OK.
No really, it is. You don’t have to live your life to make other people happy or less confused. Or hell, even comfortable.
It’s OK to Change Your Mind
When you were young, you likely made plans about what you wanted to do and become when you got older. You fantasized about what you wanted to do and swore there were things you’d “never” do.
Then, life happens. Plans change. You change.
Suddenly, you find yourself walking down a path you vowed you’d never explore. And you feel like a fraud.
You may even feel like you’re flighty, fickle or worse yet, directionless.
But here’s the good part: you are allowed to change your mind. Did you actually know that?
With the exception of having kids—because really, it doesn’t get much more permanent than that—you have the right to change your mind.
You just need to give yourself permission to realize it’s OK.
About the Author:
REBECCA UNDEM
Rebecca Undem writes about identity, belonging, and the courage to reconsider the life you thought you were supposed to live. Her memoir, How Mommy Got Her Groove Back, explores motherhood, unexpected turns, and finding meaning in a life that looks different from the original plan with humor, honesty, and heart.
An organizational development consultant, speaker, and founder of Growing Small Towns, Rebecca brings a curiosity about people to both her writing and her work. She believes people grow when they have room to ask questions, challenge expectations, and explore new possibilities.
Rebecca hosts The Growing Small Towns Show and lives in Oakes, North Dakota, with her husband, Jeremiah, and their three children.
What People are Saying
“I got my book on a Saturday and had it read by Sunday night because I couldn’t put it down! I so enjoyed this book. Rebecca’s life experiences and her ability to paint stories with her words teaches us that the “plan” we have for our future isn’t always how things turn out and we need to hold on tight and enjoy the journey with all its twists and turns. I definitely recommend this book!”
“If you’re looking for a ‘real’ read full off truth...this is it. It was not only relevant but scary relatable. Being a mom is selfless. Being a wife/partner is work. Remembering to put yourself on the list is challenging but not impossible. Great food for thought and is a recommend read for any woman looking to f ind her groove again.”
“Such a terrific read! I knew I was going to enjoy the book, because I simply enjoy reading anything well-written & the author’s blogging has proven I would get that much. But what I didn’t expect (at my 40+ years of age) was how completely absorbed I would be, and how very much I would relate to all the feelings she deals with, the choices she questions, the value she eventually reminds herself she has regardless of her job title and location. I read it cover-to-cover... and likely will again when I need a reminder of what success is, and that we are defined by so much more than our job title.”
“I loved this book, I ripped open my Amazon box, and sat down and started to read. I didn’t stop until I had to feed the kids (and drink some wine with friends), then I picked it up and read until I finished it. If you are a Mom (or Dad) who grew up in a small town/rural environment and expected to leave for the big city and never look back... and somehow ended up just an hour or so from home (no matter how many times you moved away!) you will love this book. It will feel like Rebecca has walked a mile in your shoes and “gets” you. I loved this book and I’ve given it to several friends already. It is an easy read that will make you laugh, think, and maybe cry (if you’re into that sort of thing). Buy it, love it, and buy it for a friend.”