A Real Conversation About Diversity in Small Towns
I don’t usually get too riled up at the idea of sharing my ideas with people.
I mean, most of the time, I’m just spewing my thoughts about stuff and I always try to do it with a little snark and a lot of candor.
I also think about you, the person reading this, and I think about what you’re feeling, thinking, and struggling with. And I want to help.
I try to help with my words.
But what happens when my ideas are touching on a subject that doesn’t get discussed on Main Street because either:
a. People aren’t aware this is a problem or worse, and much, much harder to address…
b. People are fully aware of the challenge, but prefer the way it is?
Well, today’s topic might be one of those and I’m sure it’ll rile up some feathers around flyover country where I live but I’m prepared to step into this discussion because I think it’s actually that critical for our future.
In typical fashion, I’m gonna start with a little dreaming.
Imagine with me…
Your small-town is a community where everyone feels welcomed and like they can contribute the best of themselves.
If you care about people at all (and you damn well better or you do NOT belong here) this doesn’t seem like a big, crazy goal, right?
I mean who doesn’t want that for their community?
But now, the tricky part.
Actually, check that.
It’s not just tricky.
It’s tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky.
When it comes to attracting and welcoming newcomers…if we only let in the people that already look, sound, think, act, and feel exactly like we do, what have we actually gained, other than a number?
Don’t get me wrong, friend; numbers matter. We want to bring in at least enough people to outpace our death rate, right?
But rather than only playing a numbers game, I’m also suggesting we actively think about recruiting different people.
But to do that well, we have to first learn how to Celebrate Differences. (👈 Capital letters: there they are again! Yup. This is a core value for Growing Small Towns. And one we care about deeply. But our values are like our kids…we don’t actually love any of them more than another. This one just happens to be the kid that’s demanding the most attention right at the moment. The activity schedule is overloaded for this one, ya know?)
The deeper context with this one is to actively pursue a growth strategy for our communities that helps us shift from a homogenous community to a more diverse community.
Diversity, equity, and inclusion strategies are on the minds of many businesses right now and certainly have taken a front-stage role in helping them set themselves apart from competitors.
But from what I’ve seen, so many of these strategies are about looking good, not necessarily doing good.
I’m not a fan of doing anything just for the sake of checking boxes or keeping up appearances. Except for my hair. And my makeup. Whatever, you know what I mean.
I’m talking about embarking on the challenging work of becoming a more inclusive place because it’s the right thing to do.
It’s GOOD for the newcomers and I’m gonna try to make the case for why it’s GOOD for us lifers, too.
But because I know what this has sounded like in my own community, I will address the proverbial elephant in the room.
What about people who don’t want growth?
What about the current people who don’t want new people, let alone different people, coming in and ruining their precious oasis that Norman Rockwell himself couldn’t have aptly captured because it’s so idyllic, pastoral, and quaint?
Well, I have thoughts. Naturally.
To me, when people say they don’t want growth—and I personally have heard people say this, so while this might seem insane to you as a dreamer, it’s not—here’s what I suggest we start asking them back:
Why?
Full stop. Make them answer. You can’t address the problem if the problem isn’t articulated. Make them articulate their problem with growth.
What makes you uncomfortable with growth? What bothers you about it?
You might get the answer by asking question #1 but if not, probe a bit deeper.
What if our city founders had operated like this?
The fact that our cities even still exist is proof of a spirit of growth and sometimes we need to remember that this is who we’ve always been!
Now, sweet friend. These are not magic bullets but it’s a start.
Also, I won’t tell you to spend a whole lot of extra time with people who don’t want growth for your community.
Instead, let’s tackle this challenge like the people-lover I know you are!
But second, let’s address the (baby) elephant in this same room: I’m a white, middle-class Christian woman, who the hell am I to make this case?
Well, I’m not a fan of anyone feeling shamed into silence, so I guess I feel equipped to posit this idea because I’ve seen it happen.
I’ve seen the fallout of a homogenous community.
I’ve seen what a lack of diversity does to our ability to grow and change.
Not just in my own town, but in the small towns I’ve spoken in and when visiting with the fire starters in other communities.
AND I care about it.
So on with it…
Before you lose your mind (further) I’m not talking about embracing criminal behavior here—those are not the differences I’m down to celebrate, although, we do have a big opportunity to better embrace people who’ve paid for their crimes; that is a whole other topic for another blog—right now, we’re talking about law-abiding people that perhaps differ from us…
Politically, religiously, ethnically, socially, culturally, intellectually
How many times have you heard these things in your community?
Well, we can’t listen to him…he’s “not from here…”
Oh, she’s new. She doesn’t know that’s “not how we do things here…”
These are words based on the notion that the only way new people make it in our town is to assimilate.
Cultural assimilation is the process by which a minority group or culture comes to resemble a society’s majority group or assumes the values, behaviors, and beliefs of another group whether fully or partially.
Is that what we really want?!?!?
Are we really so certain that the way we do things is so good now that we aren’t open to thinking about things differently?
Are we really so confident in what we know that we don’t think we can learn from other people?
Are we really trying to make the case that we are better off when we’re all the same?
Not only would research suggest differently, but it also doesn’t even hit right when you read it that plainly, does it??
Instead of assimilation, I’d love to suggest we aim for creating alchemy with new folks.
Alchemy: I like big words and I cannot lie.
The dictionary defines alchemy as a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination.
C’mon now…who doesn’t want MAGIC in their communities? (If dragons and wizards are your thing, hail fellow. All the best things are part strategy and part magic, IMHO.)
Here are the ways the active practice of celebrating differences helps us as people which equates to helping our small towns grow:
Our Thinking Improves = Our Community Gets Better Results
There’s a reason why companies love personality profiles.
Whether you love the DiSC, MBTI, Enneagram, or some other color-coded spirit animal assessment tool, they can help you get a better sense of self and an awareness that other people think and respond differently than you do.
While I don’t necessarily advocate that you use these things to exclude others, just the mere fact that so many assessments exist serves as a reminder that we are all different and that those differences, when acknowledged and embraced, can help us make better decisions.
We will only ever have one point of view so gathering other perspectives is so important if we want to tackle our toughest problems and get some kind of result that’s different than what we’ve gotten in the past.
People Want to Contribute = More Engaged Residents
I’ve talked about this before, but rarely do we learn or innovate in an echo chamber.
Echo chambers get created quite easily when everyone we surround ourselves with thinks and acts exactly the same as we do.
So when we are surrounded by people who are different from us, we have a real opportunity to learn something completely new.
When newcomers can offer their experience, background, and ideas, they are far more likely to engage in the community and offer their unique contributions willingly.
Meaningful contribution is key to resident engagement; high engagement levels are key to resident retention.
When people feel like they’re able to shape the community, it reduces the likelihood that they’ll leave.
We Adapt to the World = Our Community Remains Relevant
I don’t know if it’s necessary to say this, but THE WORLD IS CHANGING.
Like, quite rapidly, in fact. (Yes, that’s as evidence-based as I ever want to be.)
And if our small communities don’t adapt to meet the needs and challenges of a changing world, we’re gonna get left behind.
Before you say something like, “But Rebecca! What about standards? What about our traditions? Do we just let those go to meet the changing world even when we don’t necessarily like how it’s changing?”
Allow me to try and reframe this.
Because, yes, I agree.
There are definitely changes happening in the world that I don’t necessarily love, but I also know that my desire to keep things the same isn’t going to keep those changes from happening anyway.
We can fight against the world or we can work with it.
I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer a proactive approach rather than a reactive one.
If we don’t adjust and adapt, we won’t stay relevant. It’s just a fact.
Because I know how much tradition, beliefs, and values matter, let me suggest a couple of important things to bear in mind when we’re considering opening our minds and hearts to new people.
We don’t have to compromise our standards to embrace new people.
When I hear this argument, I often question what standards we’re actually clinging to. As long as our laws aren’t being broken, what’s the big risk in allowing a wider spectrum of political, social, or intellectual ideas and behaviors to unfold?
I want to live in a community that wants to continually get better—the people, the processes, the plans. To truly appreciate the wider world we live in, we need to encounter it and not just through the lens of media which is not even close to the same as engaging with it.
People are the way to bring the world to us in a small town—without diversity, we’re missing out on the richness of life.
Our foundational beliefs don’t have to feel threatened.
Being in a community that’s predominantly Christian in our religious background, this one can cause me to feel a bit like Daniel.
I’m walking right into the lion’s den, anyway.
Making space in a community for other ways of believing and other religious backgrounds shouldn’t automatically feel threatening to us.
Over the past few years as my own personal network of people has expanded far outside the four walls of my small town, I have learned so much and come to appreciate other people and their backgrounds more deeply than I ever had before.
When I move through the world with curiosity and love, I’m able to listen to other people without the fear of my own personal beliefs being challenged.
This is only possible when we act from a place of love instead of fear.
I want that for me, my family, and my community.
It’s instinctual to fear what we don’t know; rather than choosing to not know anything or anyone new, what if we did the hard work of getting to know new people, instead?
It’s hard to love people close up. Let’s move in a bit.
If we demand it for ourselves, why don’t we extend it to others?
Finally, this one will also likely ruffle a few feathers and I guess I’m OK with that.
I live in a part of the country that is quite patriotic; we fly our flags high and we demand protection from anyone and anything that threatens our rights as Americans.
We love this country because it provides us the freedom to pursue the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So when did we decide that we only wanted our own ideas, feelings, and behaviors protected?
When did freedom become something that only certain types of people deserve?
How does our inability to make space for new people actually seem almost unpatriotic?
Again, as my world has expanded, these questions have begun to plague me.
Right now, I’m not offering much in the way of answers, but more in the way of the questions I think our small towns need to start asking themselves.
If we don’t allow anything new to happen or anyone new to become a part of our community, what will happen to us?
What would a more compassionate, open-minded, and open-hearted community look like for you?
I understand having deeply held core beliefs; I don’t understand the fear that opening ourselves up to the wider world means an unequivocal threat to those beliefs.
Often, we learn serious lessons delivered through a lens created by the arts. TV, movies, theatre, and books are all ways that fantastic ideas and concepts have come to life for me.
This value of celebrating differences recently came to life for me through a show on Apple TV called Schmigadoon.
It’s definitely campy; it’s a satirical musical based on the Golden-age style of musicals from the 1940s and 1950s. The name and overall premise are based on the 1947 musical Brigadoon.
But, while it’s super funny, silly, and kind of bizarre, the end of the first season sets up what I’m talking about…kind of perfectly.
The characters in Schmigadoon—which are all based on various musicals—eschew Melissa and Josh, the two New Yorkers who find themselves magically stuck in this town after going on a hike through the woods.
They are stuck because they can’t leave until they find true love.
Lots of singing and satire ensues, but throughout the 6 episodes, Melissa and Josh provide some advice and counsel to the townspeople.
By the end of the season, the hard-charging, “we’ve always done it this way” folks of Schmigadoon learn to appreciate and accept themselves rather than cling to formerly held beliefs that never allow anyone or anything to be changed.
It’s exactly how a community could change for the better if we actually allowed ourselves to learn from outsiders.
But here’s the challenge: if Melissa and Josh hadn’t been physically UNABLE to leave, they’d never have stayed long enough to make a difference.
What if that’s happening in our towns in real life?
Are new people finding it so hard in our small towns to “fit in” that they leave before we ever get a chance to learn from them?
Is “fitting in” what we want to force on people? Or, would we rather encourage a sense of belonging?
The only way we’ll ever grow as a community (in richness, people, and resources) is to learn to truly celebrate differences.
This isn’t about checking off boxes, friend.
This isn’t about the tokenism that often results from many of the DEI initiatives we so often see in corporate America.
This is about us, the people—the ones who already live in our communities and the ones we need to grow.
Make space for new people.
You just might be surprised by what you learn.
We believe so much in creating space for people that we are launching a virtual one of our own in October!
If you want more information about the Small-Town Growth Club, click HERE to join the Waitlist.
In our small towns, we believe when we focus on helping people get better, the rest will take care of itself.
